I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
