This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
