At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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