I'm lost and stupid without you.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
