she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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