so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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