Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
