i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize