I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
