People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize