I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
