just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
