Non-Jews are for practice
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
