those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
