I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
no, he came in my armpit
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
