North Korea, Best Korea!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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