I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
