Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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