shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
