Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
