Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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