I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize