where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think my fart just growled at me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
