Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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