Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
