Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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