Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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