It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
