My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
