he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize