Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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