he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
