dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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