were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it's like iHOP with fire
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize