see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
