Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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