Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
