Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
meet me or not, i'm out of control
do herpes really smell.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
