Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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