i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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