he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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