i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
