Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
