so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sorry my hands just texted you
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
