On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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