At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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