Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
