life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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