Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
