Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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