im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
