Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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