escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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