Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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