And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
