I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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