she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
