The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
