my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
